Kendra: Living in the Crotch of Luxury

Let me just start by saying that I love Kendra and Hank! They are the most adorable couple. They have fun together; they’re always laughing and making me laugh. I think this may have a lot to do with Hank, because he is the sweetest guy I’ve never met in my life. Strangely, I also like Kendra. My parents would hate that I like her. She kicked a coke habit at sixteen, then became a stripper, got a boob job, and shacked up with some old pervert she’d only met once because he was a multimillionaire. Considering her poor choices, irritating laugh, and lack of intelligence, I still really like her. She seems happy. She’s laid back and she loves deeply, even if it is some wrinkly twisted old man and his other girlfriends.

This episode was especially telling since this stripper turned celebrity is now shopping for furniture and staff to fill her multimillion dollar home. First they have to hire an interior designer to do everything for them, because Kendra would sooner sleep on a mattress and live out of cardboard boxes before she went shopping to furnish the home. Also, she didn’t even help find the house. Bridgette went house searching for her and ended with a detailed report. So basically, Kendra does nothing. I’m lazy too, but spending money to swag your home seems like fun to me.

Kendra doesn’t feel comfortable with the extravagance the designers are suggesting. This was obvious when she began humping Hank’s leg when they were in the show room laying on the brown suede sofa, which surely costs more than a year of my tuition. Sweetheart, you belong at Lay-Z-Boy or Levin’s, not whatever abstract modern shop they’ve brought you to.

While at the staffing agency, they discover that if you’re rich you can hire people to do just about anything for you! Among a long list of staff, Kendra expresses her desperate need for a security guard after the Super Bowl fiasco. She wants a large intimidating male, while Hank wants a stealthy covert ninja woman. Now Hank, I can understand why you would want a staff member with these skills. In the event of a zombie attack, a killer ninja would be a valuable tool to maintain your survival. Zombie attacks are very unpredictable and this type of training could allow her to strategically attack and decapitate the undead. But, in the more likely event of the drunk and dangerous heckling your family, you will want someone who will reduce the likelihood of a confrontation with his unapproachable demeanor. Maybe for big events you could contract the muscle and for daily activities you could salary the ninja. That would be the optimal choice.

While Kendra and Hank are very entertaining and lovable, I can’t help but feel confused by her monetary gain. How did that happen? It goes against my ethical boundaries, but who would’ve thought buying a pair of boobs and living off of some old guy’s money for sex would bring you so much fame and wealth. It is mildly disappointing, but they are hard to dislike and they keep me watching, so I’m technically a proponent by viewer support. In any event, I should be worried about my own future. I better get a job soon! Until next time, this is Rachel on Reality.